You Are Not Too Much | Reclaiming Your Voice in a World That Shrinks You

May 30

“You’re too emotional.”
“You talk too loud.”
“You need to calm down.”

Sound familiar?

These phrases may seem small, but their impact can echo for years. They are the kind of messages that slowly teach us to edit ourselves, to dim our shine, to second-guess the way we naturally move through the world.

But let’s get one thing straight, you were never too much.
You were just living in a world too small to hold your fullness.

Where the Shrinking Begins

For many of us, the story of self-silencing started early.

Maybe you were praised for being “a good girl” when you were quiet and compliant. Maybe you learned that big emotions got you punished or ignored. Maybe you were told your intensity, your ideas, or your volume were “too much” for others to handle.

This conditioning is especially heavy for Black women, neurodivergent individuals, trauma survivors, and anyone raised in environments where emotional expression wasn’t safe. Over time, this leads to internalized shame, a belief that our natural selves are inherently flawed.

We start silencing ourselves before anyone else even has the chance to do it.

The Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Cost of Shrinking

Shrinking to fit hurts.
And it shows up in more ways than we realize:

Emotionally, it can lead to anxiety, people-pleasing, depression, and identity confusion.
Physically, it shows up as chronic tension, fatigue, headaches, digestive issues, and burnout.
Spiritually, it leaves us disconnected from our truth, our purpose, and our voice.

This isn’t just about confidence.
It’s about wholeness, and how much of yourself you’ve been taught to cut off in order to be accepted.

The Power of Reclaiming Your Voice

Reclaiming your voice is not a luxury, it’s a radical act of healing.
It begins with awareness. It deepens with compassion. And it grows with practice.

You don’t need to become “less” to be loved. You need to become more yourself.

Here’s what that might look like:

Naming the ways you’ve been silenced, by others and by yourself.
Validating your energy, your emotion, your expression as powerful, not problematic.
Unlearning perfectionism and politeness as survival mechanisms.

Try this:
Journal Prompt: Where in my life do I still make myself small to make others comfortable?
Mirror Affirmation: “I am allowed to take up space.”

Taking Up Space—Boldly and Softly

Reclaiming your voice doesn’t always mean shouting.
Sometimes, it means telling the truth quietly but clearly. Sometimes, it means resting when you used to overextend. Sometimes, it means choosing yourself, on purpose.

Here are a few bold (and gentle) steps toward wholeness:

Speak your truth, even when your voice shakes.
Set boundaries and hold them.
Laugh loud. Cry publicly. Wear what makes you feel alive.
Share your story in art, writing, or conversation.
Be around people who don’t shrink you when you expand.