Grief and Grace During the Holidays | Making Space for What Still Hurts
How to honor your heart when the season feels heavier than it looks
Introduction
The holiday season can be beautiful, but for many people, it also stirs up grief in ways that feel complicated and unexpected. While the world celebrates joy and togetherness, your heart may be moving through memories, losses, or transitions that still feel tender.
If this season brings up more ache than excitement, you’re not failing, you’re feeling. And grief, in all its forms, deserves space, compassion, and care.
This is the part of healing we rarely talk about: the permission to let grief and grace coexist.
Grief Doesn’t Take a Holiday
You may find yourself smiling at a joke one moment and holding back tears the next. Old traditions may feel impossible, and new ones may feel disorienting. You may feel out of place in gatherings where everyone seems “fine.”
Grief has no script.
It doesn’t care what day it is.
It doesn’t consult the calendar before rising in your chest.
And contrary to the messages you may have heard, grief is not a lack of faith.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or spiritually weak.
It means you loved deeply, and that love is still finding its way in a world that has changed.
Why the Holidays Intensify Grief
Grief becomes louder during this season because it’s tied to:
Familiar traditions
Symbolic dates
Family patterns
Rituals that highlight absence
Expectations to “be okay”
The nervous system feels these triggers before the mind even forms the thought.
So if you’re overwhelmed, exhausted, or emotionally sensitive right now, your body is not betraying you.
It’s protecting you.
Your Nervous System Needs Gentleness, Not Demands
Grief is not just emotional, it is somatic. It shows up in the body as heaviness, tension, fog, or fatigue. Supporting your body can help soften the edges of pain.
Try these grounding practices:
👉 Place your hand over your heart and breathe slowly for ten seconds.
👉 Step outside for a moment of quiet air.
👉 Let tears come without rushing to stop them.
👉 Give yourself permission to step away from overwhelming conversations or expectations.
You don’t need to “push through.”
You need compassion.
You need space.
You need softness.
What It Means to Honor Your Grief
Honoring grief doesn’t mean sinking into despair, it means acknowledging what your heart already knows.
You are allowed to:
Create new traditions that feel safer
Keep old traditions that bring comfort
Say no to gatherings
Leave early
Sit quietly during celebration
Cry in the bathroom and return when you’re ready
Laugh at memories without guilt
Healing does not require emotional perfection.
It requires emotional truth.
Faith and Grief Can Coexist
You can believe in God and still feel deeply human.
You can pray and still hurt.
You can trust and still tremble.
Faith doesn’t erase grief, it gives you somewhere to carry it.
Somewhere to lay the parts that feel too heavy.
Somewhere to breathe when your chest feels tight.
Allow grace to cover the spaces where joy and sorrow collide.
Journal Prompt
What does my grief need from me this season? Is it stillness, permission, boundaries, remembrance, or support?
Affirmation
My grief is valid.
My healing is unfolding.
I give myself grace to feel what I feel, one breath at a time.
Conclusion
Grief does not make you broken. It makes you human. During a season that often demands cheerfulness, choosing honesty is an act of courage and care.
You are allowed to make space for what still hurts and for what is slowly healing. Grace is big enough to hold both.
Written by Marcia Blane, LPC, NCC, C.Ht.
Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Trauma-Informed Life Coach | Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.marciablane.com
